Wit-hold

It's another set ready. Enjoy.

• When goodwill prevails, good will prevail.
• You can work when you're feverish only when your work is not just work, but your passion.
• Thanks to facebook, the word 'status' has found an altogether different connotation. It no more signifies one's class and position in the society, but rather it stands for how interesting/boring the person is.
• It's time to stop racing and start travelling together.
• This is what my gtalk status says currently: "When I'm busy, I am invisible. When I am not, I am busy.
• The best way to be righteous is to be happy. Happiness gives you faith in your choices and faith is all that's needed to be righteous.
• The world would have been a much better place if, much like facebook, there hadn't be any option to dislike.
• Earlier it was superiority or inferiority; now it's all complexed.
• Q: What's life?
  A: It's certainly not to be answered. It's to be discovered.
• Competition is not about crushing all your rivals. It's about letting them stand along with you and still making sure that they aren't able to supersede you.
• ‎'On a serious note, this was a joke.' I like this line.
• Isn't it funny that all the good teachers that I've encountered have inspired me to become a really good teacher sometime in life, but the bad ones have inspired me more.
• When you consider yourself a learner instead of an expert in any field whatsoever, you'll never feel troubled with any criticism, genuine or not.
• I sometimes wonder whether boredom is because of the outside world or inside.
• When they say it can't be done, smile. You caught them lying openly, after all.
• In the end, it's the end that matters.
• Isn't it amazing that while reciting our tragic tale, we forget to be sad for all that time? Story-telling is indeed a divine art.
• It's an amazing thing about TEAM that when they try to break it apart, it gets more united.
• Passion is what drives your actions. Ambition is what drives your passion. Who's the boss then, did you get it?
• The funny thing about life is that you're said to have lived your life when you actually have lived your dreams.
• The language that can feel is the language that can heal.
• Some people make me feel how could they ever get any friend at all. When I think for a while, I conclude, 'Because they are not "some".'
• IIT-D: Bringing smiles to your family and wrinkles to your forehead, since 1960.
• Friends can wait. Dreams can't.
• While you were seeing the world, I was making mine. Be a trail-blazer, be an entrepreneur!
• Do you want to be famous? Murder someone famous.
• The best thing in being good with words is not that you can win hearts with your words, but rather, you can win over heartless ones with your words.
• To break free from the rat race, you need to awaken the lion within. Dare, you'll fare.
  
  
• ‎'When it ends with a smile, it is said to be fun.
  When it ends with a sigh, it is said to be done.' ;)
  
  And when it ends with a wink, it's said to be a pun.
  
  
• If only it is making you anxious, can you be assured that you're completely into it.
• Despite trying so hard to get over myself, I could not succeed. I wish my legs had been a little more flexible. ;)
• Someone somewhere must be waiting for me desperately. I owe money to a lot of people, you see.
• When writing becomes your life, writing makes your life.
• Feel good. It feels good. :)
• It's so pleasing to hear irrational criticism about what you're doing. You surely know that you've made the cynic jealous!
• If you know how to write, it would not be too difficult for you to write your own destiny.
• One day, our grandchildren will recite the great facebook proverb : "Like and let (them) like!" ;)
• Do you know what distinguishes winners from losers? Winners despise those who don't do anything whereas losers despise those who do!
• When your loved ones fight with each other for the very first time, it hurts. If they continue fighting for long, it hurts no more, since they are no more your loved ones.
• I write not because I love writing. I write because I love reading what I write.

P.S. Why is it so necessary to write a P.S.?

thewittyshit.com

thewittyshit.com

Hi friends,

This is Harsh. This post is about my venture, thewittyshit.com

Being a creative guy, I failed to succumb to the technical jargons that IIT had to offer to me, and I decided to take the uncommon path - the entrepreneurial path. My start-up is an online-networking-cum-merchandising venture, which will be focussed around one-liners fabricated by the aam-aadmi.

We've openings for young and dynamic people who would be interested in working full-time or part-time with us. If you're interested, read the careers section below.

About us:

www.thewittyshit.com is a networking-cum-merchandising website intended to tap surges of creativity in common people by creating a network of people who are good with words(especially one-liners), providing them a customizable-space to record and host their 'witcraft' and giving them an opportunity to get incentives for the same by merchandising. We believe that quotes are for those who don't have a say for themselves. And if you've the wit, you're equipped, to fabricate your own quotes.

With us, you can get your facebook status messages and tweets recorded, hosted and reach a larger audience with your signature attached to it. We are here to host your quotes in the masses. If your quote gets popular, we would bring out a product featuring your quote and give you royalty from the sales. Just be with us and see how your little creativity can fetch you a lot!

Careers:

At thewittyshit.com, you’ll find people obsessed with the word called ‘communication’. We’re all about communication - communicating through written words, communicating visually through designs and communicating verbally. Not that we do it because we love sharing our thoughts and ideas, but rather because we love to get to know the thoughts and ideas of the other side – your side. We love enthusiastic people, who know how to take fun from the work that they do for us and make work fun for the people around. After all, how boring is this life without an exclamation mark!

Our work focuses on marketing strategies to target youth(especially college students), graphic designing to cater to the gen-x needs, supply chain analytics, web-development and maintenance, plagiarism-checks algorithms and inventing smart financial schemes.

If communication is your passion and you’ve the guts to imagine out-of-the-box communication solutions, you’re born to be a wit-maker! We, being passionate wit-makers ourselves, are the most active users as well as staunch critics of our services and we think we understand what we need and how to get it. Despite being a start-up, we promise a handsome remuneration if you’re ready to show your mettle, plus a lot of enriching work experience for you to carry for your lifetime.

See our current openings:

Marketing Team:

1. College Student Ambassadors

Responsibilities:

• Host our brand in your college and market our products(tees) there.

• Help us organize slogan and design competition in your college.

Qualifications Required:

• A college-level significant position of responsibility would be great!

2. Business Outreach Executives

Responsibilities:

• Pitching a plethora of colleges and companies.

• Convincing people, conveying what we are all about and what do we offer!

3. Marketing Lead –

Responsibilities:

• Talking to your team members

• Coordinating their job, assigning them targets and deadlines.

• Devising astute marketing strategies to reach out to the maximum crowd.

Qualifications Required:

• A significant position of responsibility in the cultural or technical fest of your college.

• Previous work experience in any start-up or NGOs would be an icing on the cake!

Design Team:

1. Graphic Designer

Responsibilities:

• Poster designing for events and competitions that we organize.

• Information brochure design.

• Visiting cards design

2. Textile Designer

Responsibilities:

• Designing of T-shirts

• Creating characters, mascots and logos for assignments.

Pre-requisite: One should be proficient with Photoshop and Corel Draw.

Web-development Team

Web-Designer

Responsibilities –

• Giving an aesthetic feel to the website.

• Working on Drupal modules.

Pre-requisites: Should be fully aware about the CMS Drupal. Must have some work experience in the same.

Prerequisites for each of the above openings:

(a) Enthusiasm (b) Enthusiasm, and (c) Enthusiasm.

No matter what college are you in, no matter what place you reside currently, if you've the passion and the required skill-set, we have a position for you.

Question yourself:

1.Do you want to work with determined creative entrepreneurs?

2. Do you think you're capable enough to contribute in any of these domains?

3. Are you enthusiastic enough to be a wit-maker?

If yes, mail us your resumes and a 'statement of purpose' at thewittyshit@gmail.com

P.S. Follow our facebook page - to remain informed - http://www.facebook.com/thewittyshit

The Last Bag of Shit

This might be my last post in this blog, since after this post, I'll shift all my one-liners from this blog to my website thewittyshit.com, which will be a social networking-cum-merchandising site for all the one-liner writers of the world. This blog has been a great journey, it has made me an entrepreneur from just a writer.

Guys, keep yourselves updated about our site by joining our FB fanpage - thewittyshit.com.

As for the last bag of wittyshit, here it goes:

Cool ones:

• A million apples a day keeps Steve Jobs gay!
• What would you call the situation when two narcissists interact? - CHAOS!
• To understand the Master Creator, learn his art. Create.
• All work and no pay makes Harsh a harsh boy.
• Narcissism is healthy. If everybody in this world becomes narcissist, no one would feel unloved and lonely.
• Some of the real friends that I've got were first made in the virtual world. Ironic but true.
• Sometimes, all you need in your life is somebody. Somebody stupid to laugh at!
• Impatience is bliss. It won't allow you to sit idle.
• Winner stands alone, but never sleeps alone! Now, would you please stop twisting your dirty mind? He sleeps with his dreams.
• Of all the things women possess, intellect appeal to me the most. Rarity charms, you know!
  

Profound ones:

• Don't leave me for so long that I stop missing you.
• If you've got no haters, then trust me, you're not doing anything worth admiring.
• If you encounter discouraging people, feel bad, but feel bad enough to act so that you make them feel sorry for what they'd said.
• Focus, otherwise it'll all be hazy.
• Living is fun. Now it's up to you to decide how you're going to make fun and how you're going to take fun.
• When your friend loses his/her temper, be patient, soft and considerate. You don't need to calm him/her down. You just need to be there and listen.
• Togetherness is more pleasing than name, fame or money.
• Little did I know that one day just one word would drive my life. Idea - what a word, what a thing!
• I don't like keeping up with the pace. I like setting it up.
• If only you know how joyous it is to create something - right from the scratch - you would never ever give up.
• Light is incomplete without its absence!
• Knowledge empowers, ideas inspire. Both together, ignite the inner fire.
• Our passion resides just outside our comfort zone. Only if we're ready to take that extra step, could we meet it face to face.
• India. This country is going to give me everything I would ever wish for.
• Writing to entertain is real fun because you, while writing, are the one who gets entertained the most.
• Do you know what constitutes passion? Surprisingly, it's 'love' - for oneself and for what one does.
• The biggest truth of life: To do is so much easier than trying to do.
• Artists can never be subdued. If they don't, their art will speak for them.
• I've a gift. I can make myself laugh heartily, as and when I want to.
• Why to waste your life's prime years in working for someone else's dreams, when your dreams hold far more importance than those?
• Entrepreneurship : A splash into the kingdom of unknown, where the fall scares but at the same time, thrills.
• 'If I had been stranded all-alone, she would have killed me.'

P.S. And in the end, it does matter. It was nice to have your 'tippanis' here, hope it comes again, for the very last time. Adieu. :)

P.S. Submit your id on our website to let us inform you when we launch. Click here - www.thewittyshit.com

If you want to get your one-liners featured in our facebook fan-page, post it on the wall of our fanpage - Click here to go to the FB fanpage.

'Straight' Expectations

Hi friends,

Trying to sound profound, expectations are of different nature - great, big, meagre, small, petty, huge. But in our case - 'our' refers to the sleeping co-authors of this blog, I would like to call your expectation from this blog straight. Straight expectations, because it's straightforward - witty and shitty(and sometime the other way round)!

Presenting another bag full of witty shit. Hope you enjoy your doze of bits and bites of wit and shit!

Cool ones:

• The only good thing about prejudices is that sometimes they are so baseless that you can have a great roar of laughter on them.
• I've made my girlfriend gay.
• No matter how well we dress outside, we'll always be naked inside.
• Little did I know that enthusiasm is required even for being enthusiastic.
• Stay angry, (you'll) stay ghoulish.
• There are some ideas that you really want to share with everyone just because it's so amazing, but you can't, just because it's so amazing.
• Things are changing. No, I am.
• Excitement has three levels - (a)high, (b)very high and (c)very very very very very very very (....continued till infinity) high. And I'm on the third level.
• The best knowledge that IIT has given to me is 'I am not born to be an engineer.'
• Marriage is the official way to convey to the world that you're fucked.

Profound ones:

• I know why honesty is the best policy. It's because it fosters self-esteem like nothing else.
• My life had no reason until I realized that it was meant to be shared, with you - only you.
• Opportunities are everywhere. It takes an entrepreneur's eyes to catch hold of them.
• Aspiration, without focussed action, is stagnation.
• When you aspire, perspire.
• A love story can never have an ending. However, it can always have a beginning.
• Only a road less travelled can make you reach an unprecedented destination.
• When the desire to live with your partner is more powerful than the desire to sleep with him/her, love develops.
• I had never been so assertive for my wants, nor would I have ever been if it had not been for you.
• If you can sleep with a smile on your face, you can call yourself healthy.
• It's how we react, rather than act that determines the course of the day.
• The worst experiences give you the best lessons!
• An artist's imagination cannot be perceived with a cluttered mind.
• Money is neither good nor bad, rather it is just necessary.
• Advice is important, but to know when to take it and when to reject is more important.
• When you've learnt to laugh at your stupidity rather than getting embarrassed, pat your back buddy because unknowingly you have started loving yourself.
• The funny thing about life is when people don't show faith in you, you get immense faith in yourself to crush each and every barrier.
• Taking risks cannot assure you 100% success, but it certainly can assure you that both success and failures will taste sweet.
• Sorrow transmutes into either depression or creativity.
• The most amazing reality of this life is that passion trickles down.
• When the urge to make the idea in your head tangible supersedes the urge to make money out of it, you've learnt to be an entrepreneur. Otherwise, you remain a cunning businessman.

P.S. Happy commenting! ;)

Wit-Draw

Hi friends,

Art of any form requires creativity. Constructing one-liners is one such art, where one requires keen observation on thoughts, subtle use of words and being compact yet to the point. And it requires practice, as every art-form requires.

Personally, I see constructing one-liner as an artist's rendition of his thoughts and imagination, with words instead of colours. So, here I come with my drawing - in another set 'Wit-Draw' intended to make you think and slightly tickle your senses. Hope you enjoy.

Cool ones:

• Public display of affection is public assay of attention.
• We lived in the past, thought of the future and forgot about the present. Screwed, we are.
• We all are pigs here, it's only that some are still running the rat race.
• If it hadn't been for me, I would have never studied.
• Some love stories have flood in them.
• 'Why' is the most interesting question of all, because 'because' is the most befitting reply.
• If you're talking about dreams, then certainly size matters.
• Everything I do, I do it to boo.
• An idle mind is a lover's workshop.

Profound ones:

• Your child, even if he's ugly, will bring a smile to your face every time you see him.
• The worst monotony is monotony in humour.
• Some decisions are tough but they are the ones that define your life.
• The most demeaning thing in this world is when your friend gets offended when you're being yourself. Either be artificial or chuck that friend. I prefer the latter.
• Today, being good in something is not enough. You've got to be brilliant or else find something in which you can be so.
• Love comes, stays and goes. It's how you treat it when it's there that determines how long it is going to stay.
• It is always the right time to do something that you really want to do.
• It takes just two best friends to make love work for eternity.
• Ideas act like nuclear reaction - one idea leads to other and the chain reaction starts, for eternity.
• There is only one way of excelling in any activity i.e. by being unconditionally prolific in it.
  

Wit Happens!

Hi Friends,

It has been a long time since this blog has been updated. Had been really busy with studies, fest and work. But here I am, ready to shower some more 'witty' shit to tickle your heart and make you smile or think! I wish all the readers and followers a very happy holi.

Cool ones -

• Wit happens. ;)
• I am at such a stage of life when I love reading but hate studying; and so are you!
• Ass does not mean your butt, it means you!
• I wonder how boring this life would have been without an exclamation mark!
• Anyway, it is called anyway.
• I felt a great need to transform the present education system, but, I figured no way out, so I started bitching about it. Well, if you want to know the truth, that makes me really happy, I mean really really happy.
• I am not an adult anymore. ;)
• This new year, I'll love more and hate less. Oh my God! I hate this resolution.
• When people try to pull me down, I feel proud, for I realize that I'm above them.
• The best thing about stupidity is that you can't help it.
• I am a bookworm. The author of that book is Mark Zuckerberg.
• Sarcasm is my ground state.
• I am neither an atheist, nor a theist, nor an agnostic; am just indifferent to God.

Profound ones -

• I find Valentine's Day very cheesy. If you're a passionate couple, everyday can be special; else everyday is like just another day.
• Victory is important but failures are more important.
• A best friend is the one who you can ask for anything without ever thinking twice and still, if his answer is no, he does not need to think twice before telling it to you!
• Good friends are always many but the best ones are always rare!
• Old-age is like the wrinkled pages of a book, the book called life.
• If it's not going to be better, then it's going to be the best!
• Philosophy is a special kind of labyrinth, with just one entry but no exits. Often, if you're not lost then you've to return to where you'd started to get out of it.
• A good book is one which can absorb you to read it in one go; a great book is one which makes you stop once in a while to reflect upon what has been silently said.
• I am surprised to realize how contrasting roles do synonymous words play, for example in 'you rock!' and 'you stone!'
• I feel happy when I write, write when I feel happy.
• Sometimes my life gives me much more than what I had asked for and those times I look at it and say, 'Thanks! Well, I guess I deserved it.'
• Life is not a bed of roses, it's a bed of desires.
• Progress requires lessons from the past, vision for the future and awareness of the present.
• I love you when you say I hate you.

P.S. It's strange that nowadays, people like to dislike things more. If you don't fall in the common category, please do comment. It will motivate me to carry the 'wit happening'!