Shitters take it all!!!

Hi guys,

Maybe I am not as prolific but I'd love to present the latest stuff from my bin. Just read, reflect n ......... comment!! :) -

• The root of all sins is..... less than 1.
• How can a bye ever be good???
• Only after you've been into the realms of a deep trance...... do you realise the value of consciousness!!! [TM]
• You are rich if you can afford to be extravagant and still remain rich!!!
• CAUTION : The success you are seeking is closer than it might appear to be!!!
• Of all the sticky-notes I put up on my board, the only one that fell said, "Be true to yourself, and you will never fall!!"

The Witcraft

Hello friends,

It seems I am the only one who's posting on this blog, anyway, that does not hinder my spirit. I love blogging and love constructing one-liners quite a lot, and that will always make this blog alive. If you want to be a more regular reader of my one-liners, you can follow me on twitter, the link is on the right. So here I begin with my witcraft -

Cool ones :

• The best thing in having a unique name is that you can google it and get you-specific results.
• I know the best way to handle critics - ignoring them.
• Having too much in common is quite uncommon.
• It's funny seeing guys & girls boasting the tag-line 'waiting for someone special to come in my life'. What if their 'someone special' is also doing the same?
• You can screw up even the things you're good at, but for doing that you need to be really good at screwing up.
• God has given me two middle fingers for every problem.
• If flirting is an art, then I am glad that I am not an artist.
• Now that I'm rich, I'll become richer.
• I love to be hated.
• I have a headache and it's contagious.
• Life without an ice-cream is like a journey through the desert, life with an ice-cream is like a journey with the dessert.
• I have a headache in my ass.
• I am not into studies anymore, I am into facebooking! =D
  
• There are some things that I won't buy, and for those things there is mastercard.
• Headache is something that I don't get when people are talking about me, I get it when they talk about themselves.
• Only when you've become something do people start talking about you, and guess what, I've really become something.

Profound ones:

• Once in a while, pause and thank God just because you're able to thank...
• Life is more about how one tackles small problems than the big ones, since it's only the heap of the small ones that makes the big one.
• It's quite difficult to strive for independence if someone is dependent on you.
• I wonder why do they have just one day for thanksgiving, shouldn't each day be?
• The more I acquired, the poorer did I become.
• It is better to be alone and happy than to be together and sad.
• One is never short of ideas for the person who means to you.
• The night will always be good if you dream before you go to sleep.
• Sometimes, you see more good people in the world than there were a moment before, since then you count yourself in...
• If you're happy, then don't try to waste your time trying to decipher the reason.

P.S. A real friend is not the one who can share your sorrows but rather your happiness! So, share my happiness - share my name! =D

Wishful Contemplation

Hi, it's now time to make some 'shit happen', since this blog has had enough of constipated days. Nowadays, twitter is the dust-bin that takes most of my outrageous dumplings, so if you're on twitter, you can follow me(the link is on the right). So, with your permission, I begin some wishful contemplation -

Cool ones:

• Some people are never vexed, after all, they're too busy making others the same...
• God bless me and then everyone else.
• I used to respect girls, now I fear them.
• To err is divine...to forgive is humane.
• The best motivational line that I ever heard is - 'Dude, you can't do it!'
• Many people bask in proclaiming their life statement as 'I am what I am', and interestingly, therefore they are 'nothing'.
• I don't like dumb girls because I know that they will feel bad after reading this.
  
• If only you try it for sometime, you would find out that it's not too difficult to rhyme.
• There is a thing called free lunch, if your friend owns the restaurant.
  
• I hated bad people until I realized that I was one of those few.
• When you're constipated, even the fundamental truth 'shit happens' turns false.
• When you're feeling angry, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and count 1 to 10 in your mind; and then punch the first person who comes in front of you as hard as possible.
• I hate shrthnd.
  
• Bug me and see how I'll outshine you.
• Breaking up(my time-table) is my hobby.
• I like bad people, they are so good.
  
• The greatest irony in a photographer's life is that he cannot capture his own photo in all the possible ways.
• It's very difficult to find the right guy and it's even difficult to find the 'wrong' girl!
• If you're not willing to talk about yourself, then don't worry, I am.
  

Profound ones:

• There is no such thing as hard work. If you work on something that you love to do, your work would never seem 'hard' no matter how many hours you put in and if you work on something that you don't love, then you would never feel the desire to 'work hard'.
• When people go bad, you better turn worse otherwise your condition will turn the same.
• Wait never goes in vain and if, by any chance, it does, then the thing was not worth waiting.
• Sometimes, I feel happy just because I've nothing else to do. I call it being 'idly happy'.
• If you would not have come into my life, I would have missed you.
• Drooping eyes, weary soul, blocked nose, ascending temperature and an extravagant smile. This is what life is all about.
• To love is to love the things that the person you love loves.
• Friends are not consciously made, they happen.
  
• I am born as a writer, I want to die as a poet.
• The best thing about us is 'us'.

P.S. If you're not sick, then do something better than reading this.

Sinful Pleasure

The title phrase of this post has been taken from a book called 'Oops! 'I' fell in love!' by my best friend Harsh Snehanshu. So continuing with this new set, here I am 'buzz'ing with a new set of my one-liners, all thanks to facebook, which has captivated me in its idleness 'freak'-ism.

Cool ones :

• Sometimes, I look good. And the problem is this sometimes comes too often.
• It is difficult to manage two girls at the same time - especially when both of them are your younger sisters!
• I've got a definition for the word 'facebook' - A website that works on a simple principle - 'we love to waste our time'.
• I am in love with so many girls that I think I am gay.
• Success stories don't have twists in the end, rather they have it in the beginning.
• When the person telling a joke becomes a joke himself/herself, then we call it a PJ!
• The only way to spoil your awesomeness is by preparing for exams.
• Witticism is the best way to respond to criticism!
• Hopeless but not romantic. That's how you feel before examinations.
• I am very experienced in love, I have fallen in it several times.
• If you don't like me then you're just jealous!
• It's ironical that the best 'character' I can have in the stories I write is someone who is 'characterless'. I can make him do anything - without any second thought.

Profound Ones :

• My actions do not speak louder than words because my action is nothing but speaking through words.
• What if your inspiration to do something does that thing better than you and still s/he leaves that thing just to let you prove your niche in it. I think that is what is called as love.
• You've been the best phase of my life and I'd been the worst in your life. Opposites did attract.
• Now it's just me and my work. Since I've used an excuse of my work to break your heart, I'll make sure that my work always remains outstanding.
• I am not living my life. I am living my dreams.
• LOVE is Letting Off the Very Ego.
• Nobody wants mediocrity in love, perhaps that's why most people fear to love.
• I want to be an artist - an artist whose masterpiece will be remembered and called as 'his life'.
• It is more important to have a mind full of ideas than to have a mind full of knowledge. The world is full of people brimming with knowledge. Interestingly, they are the ones who work under the directions of 'the men with the ideas'.
• All the difficult situations come into my life when you're not with me, and they seem difficult just because you're not with me.
• To become a leader, you first need to be a follower - so I say, 'follow your heart!'

P.S. Thanks for reading!

The New Shit

Wit has taken a break, courtesy to the busy college life and ever-growing disdain with facebook-ing in general. So, here is a relatively 'chota' set of new shit -

• I happen to be the best gift God has given to me.
• I am just the reflection of my image.
• You don't really need to read this!
• Sometimes life gives you a second chance. Grab it before it becomes somebody else's first!
• I don't make spelling 'mistaakes'!
• Rain is such an enigma. It could be blissful to some and terror to someone else. Just as studies are...
• A child is the father of man. But the unanswered question that remains is - who is the mother then?
• Few people in this world are sheer geniuses, and they're so amazing just because they are 'few'.
• Geniuses don't do amazing things; they just do the things they're amazing at.
• The secret to good writing is to read more than you've written and to write more than you've read.
• The most amazing truth of life is life itself.
• Inspiration is just a step away, provided you take that step with your 'right' foot.
• Something can be called your 'passion' if it can make you lose your sleep; something can be called your 'gift' if it can make others lose their sleep for it.

Bliss - A Memoir

This is a small movie that I made today encompassing all the learnings that these two months in this foreign land offered to me.

See it, enjoy it and spread it. Thanks.

P.S. If you liked it, please do spread it. Pass on the link to all your friends.

A Bottle Of Fun

See, look up! Look up instantly! You'll notice something amazing. Just look up!

If you indeed looked up, then I want to congratulate you that you had been fooled by me and if you didn't, then I just want to thank you for making me feel great that my absorbing writing-style inhibited your eyes from roving around. Now you can have a look at the newest bundle of my-SHIT!

Cool Ones -

• I just realized that I realize too much.
• I wonder why :( is also called a smiley?
• There are times when I look back and say 'I should look in front.'
• I know you give importance to what I write otherwise you would not have been reading this!
• I used to be straight, but now I am a hunchback!
• TV is my ex-girlfriend! And it is I who ditched her.
• Love is not blind, it is myopic(short-sighted).
  
• I am a virgin, but my eyes are not!
  
• It is very difficult to invent a new one-liner every single time you want!
  
• You are my best friend, for the time being!
• I tried to be costly but no one seemed interested; so I became cheap!
  
• When your girlfriend becomes more of a girl and less of a friend, it is the time to leave her.
  
• Love is 'friendship gone bad'.
  
• I used to listen to Himesh once, but now I find the noises in the toilet more dulcet.
• Happiness is costly, but I am rich and extravagant!
• I sat down to think who is the person who has influenced my life the most and a moment later, I realized it's not you.
  

Profound Ones -

• The real joy in writing comes when you read something really beautiful and you're amazed to realize that it is actually you who wrote it.
• Everyone can write, but not everyone can sit to write.
• A real photographer is the one who instead of looking through the camera makes the camera look through his eyes.
• The only fall that can make you rise is love.
• When I fell in love with myself, I realized that I deserved every bit of it.
• Love is not measured by what you can 'give' for its sake, rather what you can 'give up' for its sake.
• I am not one of those; I am one of 'those few'.
• Sometimes things go in the right direction quite unexpectedly and you are amazed to realize that happiness is your destiny.
• One is single before and even after commitment.
• Theoretical physics is like photography ... you've to keep your eyes open to get that perfect 'click'.
• As days are passing out here, the more I am getting closer to myself. And the more I am getting closer to myself, the more I am falling in love with me.

P.S. I reflected and came out with a conclusion that "WTF = Wow that's funny! is much better than the original version." What say? WTF?
P.S. Copyright - Buzz and Buzzing Networks.

Another Shit in the Wall

Hi guys,
This is Keshav..... Buzz bugged me rather 'buzzed' me into this idea of presenting my w(sh)it to the world, and I readily agreed. So, I shall start with some original ones. I'll upload more when I recall some or create new ones. So here's presenting my S***.

• If you think you're at the top, the only way ahead is downwards!
• Is your PC running?..... well if it is, you better go and catch it!!
• The world was in dark, struggling againt rubbery turkeys and feathery chickens........... Then God said, "Let There be KFC."............. and all was light.
• My neck is stiff...... ma throat is sore....................... was too loud for my ears...... just couldn't have asked for more!!! (After attending AC/DC live in Glasgow on 30/6/09)
• Twinkle Twinkle invisible cat, How I wonder what you're at!!
• Don't try to be perfect, trust me, it's boring!!
  

Keep waiting for more coming!!

Shit as never before

Hi. This is Buzz. This blog is for our one-liners, some of which have become quotes in our friend circle. So, here goes the first post.

• There are some things that money can't buy and for everything else there are shops.
• I am not prideful; I just love myself too much.
• God didn't give me a good face, so I shifted behind the camera.
• Some people are exceptionally talented in making you feel bad about yourself, and I am exceptionally talented at ignoring them.
• From here on there are two ways - One that leads to where you are destined to go and another one to where you want to go. And in the end you'll realize that both the roads lead to the same destination.
• I used to hate myself, then I met you.
• I found myself gifted at exaggeration, so I became a story-teller.
• I just realized that the secret to happiness is to respect yourself as nobody else.
• An idea can change your wife.
• If you're confused whether to choose love or dreams, then without any second thoughts, go for dreams. Since, true love will never ever stand in the way of your dreams.
• I am god-gifted at being lazy.
• Sometimes there are no choices to make, and that's the best moment in one's life, because there is no confusion.
• Writing needs patience, wit, imagination and the most important of them all - readers!
• I was searching for happiness all around, until I realized that it was right here all-throughout - in my name!
  
• In the journey of life, you don't need milestones to look forward rather you need them to look back.
• I realized that the real success is the one which brings gratitude in you.
• There are very many talented people out there in this world, but very few of them are gifted.
• I don't like to be called a traveller, I prefer the word 'nomad'.
• I love myself so much that if I were a girl, then I would be married to me till now.
  
• I was searching for the ultimate key to knowledge and then I found google.
  
• I was searching for a girlfriend all around the world for one year but could not find any. Frustrated, I sat back at home and googled the word 'girlfriend' and it gave me more than a million of them in just a second. Can you beat google?
• Happiness just requires two things - A friend to laugh with and a friend to laugh at.
• My life is like an open book, it's just that the color of the font as well as the pages is white.